10. Mittens…gloves…etc…okay, while I get frustrated by lost gloves (especially single lost gloves!!!) what really drives me crackers is repeated glove removal with high pitched and immediate whining for mommy to Help!!!!! Put it back on!!!!!! My Glub! My Glub! Mommy! Yeah, I’m cold blooded by nature. So when I have to slip my gloves off in freezing temps multiple times in a span of 5 minutes in order to wrestle little sausage fingers back into her Glub because she felt compelled to slip it off in order to do a little taster’s choice on the snow and ice……yeah, that can set me off towards crazy town. Eating snow…also gross and irritating but…not in the top ten! Oh, the suspense, right?
9. Peeing but not flushing or putting the seat down. Now, if 10 was all Charlotte, 9 is definitely all Joey. He doesn’t even put the seat UP to pee. He just aims high? Yeah, I don’t know. But he appears to have gone to the seventies-style school of water conservation. (I could also blame his dad and his hyper ‘Don’t flush’ proclamations related to his unsubstantiated fear of scalding someone in the shower….Joey has taken the message to heart. Even if the only place I know this happens is Mark’s parents’ Sears and Roebuck house. There…yeah, it happens).
But back to that pee. It probably would just be a smelly annoyance if the dog didn’t think toilet water (especially yellow?) was so delicious. She sucks up a mouthful, gets yelled at (because you know she ain’t quiet) and proceeds to slosh said mouthful across the bathroom floor and down the hall. (Big dog. Big mouth. Long trail of stinky pee water for me to traipse through in clean, dry white socks……) Ahhhhhhhh!
8. Asking for seconds. Waiting a second and deciding they are too full. Wasteful. Infuriating. Sigh. Both commit this crime regularly.
7. Boogers and snot trails. I don’t think this needs any further elaboration.
6. Rocks in the pockets. And shoes. And coats. And gloves. And washing machines. And couches. And chairs. And closets.
5. Constant bickering. Hello, children! This is not normal. No other children could ever have possibly fought and bickered and argued this much.
Ahem.
Errrr….maybe this is what my mom is laughing about. But seriously….lesson learned. Please stop fighting.
4. Being OCD, even if they come by it naturally and from both sides. Yeah, being OCD is manageable. Dealing with someone else’s OCD is downright nutty-making. Joey insists I shut his door when I take him to bed. Not when I leave. For the 2 minutes it takes to feed his fish and tuck him in. He, my normally calm and cool one, will flip on me if I don’t do it. Why, you ask, is this so important? Because he absolutely does not want the dog in his room at ALL because she may have barfed on his rug twice this summer. He is crazy town about keeping her out. But funny enough, hehas no problem crawling in bed with mom and dad even if Gracie is already in residence…..
3. Sneaky mid-night bedroom swapping. Usually this ends in one or both tiptoeing in and snuggling up with mommy. Which would be fine if it didn’t involve smooshing me into the middle of the bed, jockeying for position with the dog. Never mind the indignant sleepy child who says “I need more of this pillow, Mom”…..[you know you have like 5 pillows in on YOUR bed, right?] This is still generally tolerable when it is one or the other. But when it is both plus us plus the dog, or when I’m getting footed in the neck…yeah then it spells sleep deprived, which we all know is the last stop before Crazy Town.
2. Undressing body parts in transit. This is particularly irritating if it is cold outside and we are in a rush. Who ties shoes well with numb fingers???
1. Always needing just one more hug. Kiss. Hug and kiss. European kisses. Eskimo kisses. Bear hugs. Big squeezes. Elaborate hug and kiss ritual……..wait….I actually love this one, even on those days when it is a deliberate and obvious ploy.
Yep, they drive me crazy. Unlicensed little crazy-drivers that they are. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Although, I would like to do something about all that pee…and those boogers.